Now, however, I find myself with five minutes and in a bit of a Monday Morning Grump. So what better to do than have a bit of a rant about annoying characters?!
Here they are:
1. Uncle Will (The Radleys by Matt Haig) - It wasn;t so much his character in the book, but his presence in it that annoyed me. It was like the author got bored of the straight-laced Stepford Wives community he'd created and transplanted in some True Blood for kicks. Not only that, but Will lived his immortality chasing one tiny moment from ten years ago, with his brother's wife. And not in a heart-achingly woeful, gothic way. Give it up, grow up and move on.
2. Elspeth Noblin (Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffeneger) - Unlikely as it is for me to dislike a ghost, Elspeth got very annoying with her invasion of privacy on her niece's lives. It was like a soppy creepiness... lingering in desk drawers and willing them to find blankets, or for them to experience love with much older men. It was weird...
3. Alexander (The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simmons) - The most annoying thing about Alexander was his refusal to do anything about Dimitri; the weakest, most un-threatening "threat" I have ever encountered in a book. Dimitri's menace over the Alexander was real, and his constant invasion on his life very evident BUT he just didn't seem like anything Alexander couldn't have handled?! Dimitri knew incriminating things, but he was no immovable object to Alexander's unstoppable force - especially when "self preservation" was his key character trait and motivation in life! Grrr!
4. Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins) - Mostly in Mockingjay, I have to say. Katniss just lost all her fight, all her grit. I was 100% behind her in The Hunger Games and Catching Fire... and as soon as I started Mockingjay, I felt I was reading the life of somebody different. She had to be mothered, coerced, directed and instructed. The Girl in the Fire was no more. And let's not mention her decisions in the final chapter shall we...?!
5. Hagrid (Harry Potter Series by J K Rowling) - It might be an unpopular choice, but I find myself skipping a fair few Hagrid chapters on my Harry Potter re-reads, especially the Aragog and Grawp chapters... Hagrid is one of those characters that just "does things" to bring an element into a narrative. He seems more of a plot development fall-back than an actual character. Yes, he's endearing and the loveable hazard to the story, but it also seems as though Rowling had a few moments where she went "right, how do I get this into the book? Oh I know, Hagrid can buy it/ win it/ fall over it/ accidentally mention it..." He's a character that became more than he needed to be. Does he actually have a purpose?!
6. Captain Wentworth (Persuasion by Jane Austen) - It took him waaaay too long to see what was right in front of him, and because I felt so much for Anne, her pain was my own. I wanted to march up to that guy and go "Oi! Mr Sailor Man! Put down that fussy young thing who's far too young for you, anyway, and look at the one woman you didn't fight for the first time round". *Sigh*... I hate romance.
7. Jacob (Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer) - Let's face it, Bella was too vacuous to be any kind of annoying. I just outright didn't like her. Jacob on the other hand had a bit of culture, history and development going on, and for that I hoped he would see Bella for what she was. However, he subscribed to the tribe of what I can only assume was desperation, and fawned over her for the two books I managed to endure. Good work Jacob, welcome to Annoying.
8. Pantalaimon (His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman) - Am I the only one who thought Pantalaimon's sensibilities were the least likely thing to ever come out of Lyra's soul? He was a wary, cautious, worrier with erratic moments of brutal abandon. Lyra was an affectionate but feral risk taker. These two are one?! I honestly think that The Northern Lights would have been a much wilder ride if it wasn't for Pan and his voice of reason. Thank goodness for Will when he shows up and brings a bit of unpredictability back! (I have unashamed fan-love for Will. Fan-love I tell you!)
9. Merthin (World Without End by Ken Follet) - This one thing: "Oh, I'll just go to Florence while the woman I love and have known since childhood is giving up every freedom she's ever known in order to save her own life after being wrongly accused of being a witch, and I did F-all to help her". Nice one, Merth! Not to mention you married someone else and had a kid while you were there... and DESPITE all this, I still frickin' liked you. Yeah, mostly I'm annoyed by you because I liked you.
10. Sophie Klein (Pear Shaped by Stella Newman) - Embodied every annoyance I have with pithy "chick-lit": Unfounded body issues, non-existant self-worth, jealousy, materialism, idealism, sexsolveseverything, food guilt, shallowness, reliance, uppity... I'll stop now.
There you have it :) Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices? What characters do you find annoying?